The bold and the beautiful: it's formal time!

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Published on Thursday, 13 October 2011 17:24

Written by Matilda Nengare

Crimson lips. Big hair, teased, crimped and curled to within an inch of its life. Smoky eyes. Floaty dresses, killer heels.

What does this all mean? Is Marilyn Monroe back in town? Nope. Sorry to disappoint all the conspiracy theorists, but the consolation? A bigger and more dramatic diva is in town. The formal diva. Roll out the red carpet, turn up the music, and assemble the groupies and haters on the mound! It's time to party. It's formal time.

Ah. Formal (sighs). It's that time again when the ladies and gents of UCT come out to play in style. Weeks of energizer-bunny-type hype from house comms, facebook pages dedicated to pre-parties, after-parties and highly rated dj’s (who fail to pitch. Yes, dj oskido, I mean you. Something about missed flights? Forgot to show?).

Also, how can we forget that most frenetic of searches for the perfect accessory? Not the stunning earrings, sparkly clutch or feather boa. No. THE perfect accessory is of course the man who looks better in a suit than Harvey Spector (good luck with that, ladies).

We have those so excited for formal that sitting still is a mission. Then there are those feigning indifference, but silently dying for the day to come. We see you. Yes, we judge.Then we have the truly indifferent and often subsequently condescending who "refuse to be a part of the system." Whatever floats your boat, honey.

It's not a formal without someone getting stood up by their date minutes before the procession, someone's dress splitting as they strut their stuff, someone stumbling on the red carpet, or the fawning groupies and jeerers on the mound. And, of course, it’s not officially formal until someone's underwear makes an appearance. Ladies, when your underwear is in a fight to the death with your dres, it just maybe might ...possibly... be too small. Of course, you need the utterly inappropriate, very public displays of affection which are less aaawww cute and more…oohhh cringe, gag. Too much.

That is Formal. Take it, leave it. Go, don't go. One beauty queen calls it "Prom on Steroids." That it may be, but it’s definitely a highlight of the UCT calendar.