Pill Poppin'

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Published on Wednesday, 12 October 2011 08:11

Written by Tiffany Mugo

Image: garethsmit.com“Baby, are you on the pill?”

Those words may soon be uttered not by men, but by women. Rumour has it that there may soon be a contraceptive for men taking a great deal of the pressure off women. From what I have heard, forgetting to take the pill is not cool.

This is probably a good time to lay out the reason most girls will be happy to hear that the burden of the pill may be shared. First and foremost: the side effects. Some women gain weight, some get spots. Some get extremely moody (Yes, that is a real thing, and not to be
messed with).

There is also breast tenderness and enlargement, nausea and vomiting, changes in sex drive (usually in the form of a decrease), bloating and headaches. Secondly, that “Surprise, we’re pregnant” will no longer be just our fault.

Thus one can see why we would want to share this “joy” with the boys. But this isn’t the only reason. Having two people within a relationship on the pill significantly reduces the risk of pregnancy. If she forgets to take it’s okay; he took his this morning.

There is also a weird sense of liberalisation and equality within it. The burden of family planning will soon be shared. The issue will no longer be, as one friend of mine puts it, “a woman’s job.” If we can bring the condoms you can take your pill.

All this notwithstanding, some people may get reckless.  Apparently our generation fears the shame of pregnancy more than AIDS and other STDs. Now that the chances of being pregnant may be greatly reduced men may start handing it out like hot cakes…without
the wrapping.

Conversations like “but it feels more natural” may become more frequent. With the primary fear of pregnancy eliminated people may be more liberal with their goodies causing an increase in a whole host of STDs and STIs.

Frankly, I don’t know if the idea will take off. I’m not sure men can handle the ups and downs of regulating one’s reproductive system. Women have been dealing with the negative effects of being womanly for decades. When “Aunty Flo” comes to visit, it is not nice. Childbirth, not nice. Menopause, not nice.  

The most men have had to deal with was that awkward wet dream phase. Maybe impotence one day. I’m not sure they can handle the aforementioned side effects. But, chances are, men will get the “super pill” with no side effects.

At the end of the day one cannot deny this will all lead to better global crowd control. It will be a large step towards making both partners more responsible for their respective futures rather than placing the onus on the woman. There will be less conversations of the “she is trying to trap me for my money” nature.

Truth be told, it is a burden we women are willing to share. I must say, though, that what I am most surprised by is that men are actually willing to consider something that messes with their, um, man flow.